Betrayal

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This life is nothing more than an intrepid betrayal. And this betrayal begins from the womb–wherein you are comfortable in it when one day life gets to perform its first act of betrayal by ejecting you outside into a strange dexterous void–the world. In this world, you start getting used to the pungent sun and make it your friend since you are afraid of the coarse darkness–and suddenly with one jerk, the sun goes down, betrays you and the dismal night stands in contrast. So you make friends with the millions of ghosts up in the sky–until they too disappear from your sight when you wake up. Illusions. And then you get used to the winds–the light and cold company and you are one with them –when there is betrayal in the form of heavy rain. Then you go on to make memories. And you make so many of them, when with the crack of age–one by one the memories seep out through you, thereby betraying you. And of course, the people—you meet them with a mask, or perhaps many. And you see they are wearing a mask as well–or perhaps many. But you swing past that, knowing quite well what face exists beneath them. Yet when the masks come off–you feel betrayed, perhaps by your own selves first and then the faces you see for they quite resemble yours. And that is–the betrayal of the self and of the mind. You are betrayed by your virtues because of your vices, your sins by your tragedies or perhaps it is the other way around, your senses by your delusions and your feelings by your reality…  So then you realize, what is life about and you finally get the hang of it. Alas! You are met with betrayal in the form of death.

And death…is a betrayal of sorts in its own self as well.

Bird in my Head

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I sit in a dark room thinking about darkness
I have a glass of blood in my hands
And a bird flies quietly in my head
I do not know why
I will sit here. For hours to come. And minutes and seconds
Thinking about darkness
All the light that I lost
And I cannot look around me
There is a bear which plays the flute
And I do not understand why
There is darkness around me
And I am the light.
And soon I’ll burn myself out
As I burnt my candle turning it into the wildfires
The ghosts play the piano
And I can not dance
But I do not know why
I can hear laughter and people talking
But it must be all in my head
Yet I do not know why

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It’s like the days are not even days any more.
Night isn’t night anymore.
I am not even who I was anymore.
The sky has turned into ash, it isn’t blue anymore
The moon is a black dot, it isn’t the moon anymore
The sea has turned into soot, it isn’t it anymore
The tree upon which I gazed outside
It is not standing there anymore…perhaps it travelled north or towards a dusty gloom
I don’t know anymore
There is so much dark now, I don’t want the light anymore
I loved someone once
I don’t love anymore

Jinxed!

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This life and the people we come across, the seasons, the colors, the whispers and the silence. Everything and nothing.

The kite that soars in the sky and the eagle which flies after it. The smoke. The green and the blue and the red. The yellow. And the shade.

The wind. The sand. Everything and nothing.

We are all, and everyone of us, the hard and the soft.

The leaves and the rose. The fire and the ice. The path that we follow.

The music and the tune. The stars and the moon. The sun.

Everything and nothing is under a warm spell.

Jinxed!

Inside It All Feels The Same.

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Man is at war, but this war is with himself. He is at war with himself. We are all at war.

Its not easy to be what we are. We have to keep up with our emotions. Inwards and outwards.

Its like a vortex inside, outside..it just feels nice.

Outside, is happy, because you have to put up with it.

Outside, is all about showing.

Outside, is horrible, yet pretty.

Outside..you are happy. So you show it. You put on a smile and act all nice.

Outside, you are sad. So you show it. You put up a face that everyone resents.

Outside, you are lonely. So you act it. You do not talk to anyone. You do not meet anyone.

Outside, you are helpless. So it shows on your face.

Outside, you are in love. So people can see it.

Outside, you are rock solid. So yes, everyone feels it.

Outside, you feel silly. So you act silly too.

Outside, you are in a good mood. So you can make everyone happy.

Outside, you are angry. So you take it out on people. You make them unhappy.

Outside, you are unhappy. So you might make people angry.

Outside, you feel empty. You you look empty.

Outside, you cry. It shows. It just shows.

Outside, are things in your body that can give everyone a hunch.

Outside, you can feel differently.You can feel many things at one time.

Outside, you feel any thing, so people can feel it.

Inside…its just you.

Inside its just you who knows.

Inside its just you who feels.

Inside, if its sad…then you are the only one who knows.

Inside, if its happy..then you are the only one who knows.

Inside, if its dark..only you know.

Inside, if its bright..only you can see.

Inside, if its lonely..its just you who are there.

Inside, if you cry..no one can see.

Inside, its just you.

Inside, it all feels the same.

Its a vortex inside.

Its confusion.

Its all confusion.

That’s why…..Inside. , it all feels the same.

Outside, now that’s just different.