The Death of SARCASM

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*gasps*

Yes so the inevitable has happened…or more so, begun to happen. Yes. Sarcasm is dying because in simple words, idiots are taking over everything. Including sarcasm. And that is—ironical?

Little girls in pink pony tails will now be seen going on yapping about their Instagram food photos and putting *witty* things as captions and thinking to themselves that this here is the new and somewhat improved example of sarc-wait for it-ass-um!

Silly little insensitive boys will say meaningless things about other meaningless people and challenge themselves into thinking that they are good at something, apart from being total losers and that is sarcasm. Which is apparently so shockingly absurd that one actually starts believing them and THUS ladies and gentlemen–THE DEATH OF THE LITTLE BIRD WITH HARDCORE SHIT CALLED SARCASM.

Let us all mourn the death with tears because c’mon this one is actually sad. Because it entails that with it, cynicism ad humor take the high road. I mean you can not say anything witty to anyone anymore without it fitting into their sad standards. And believe me, they have a sad standard for a reason.

And the things that qualifies as their wit is as pathetic as their delusional wonder worlds.

Yes you may think that i am only being an insensitive meanie. I would otherwise love to prove you wrong. But i wont. Because that is exactly what i feel like being today. After all, why shouldn’t  I!!

I only go back to saying what my favorite thing to say is—it is not their fault they exist. Or that their existence is a sad spectacle of irony or sarcasm. Or that it is a *good one the big guy pulled out*. We just have to deal with it.

But you know what we DON’T have to deal with!? The death of sarcasm. When we see these midgets from inside their heads murder sarcasm, we make sure we take a stand. We make sure we do it with style. And attitude. And most of all brutality.

 

sponge

 

Jelly beans!

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People. People are like jelly beans. All of us.Gooey colorful and full of taste. And they make our teeth go bad too.

Are we really? Well it could be used as a metaphor can’t it.

I mean we don’t have to be jelly beans for real..that would be kind of creepy. Just imagine a face for every jelly bean.

Hah. Creepy (-_^)

But we can be jelly beans if we talk in metaphors. I mean if we have to say that some one is fat…without sounding mean..we can call that person–A Jelly bean!

And if we want to say *His bloody face was red with anger*

We can say..*His bloody face was jelly bean with anger.*

Um..on second thought, no.

Okay moving on. Let us just put Jelly bean instead of Human.

That would be funny. *That jelly bean just said that and now i am going to jelly bean that jelly bean some more. Rawr. Son of a jelly bean.*

Or something like..*How dare that jelly bean say that…backstabber jelly bean. I heard she is going steady with that half eaten jelly bean. Can you believe my jelly bean jelly bean? :O*

Some one’s motto could be.. *Don’t jelly bean all the time you jelly beans. Leave some for later.*

Scum bean would be hilarious too.

I know this may not make much sense and is just a step ahead of plain gibberish. But what can i say i am a jelly bean when it comes to being a jelly bean. Ask my jelly bean friends they will tell you how jelly bean i am. But what can i say..once a jelly bean, always a jelly bean.

 

Me and My Almost Broken Heart!

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It is probably a phase. A nasty one though. But yes we all have been there…once or more than once. So it wouldn’t be a surprise to know that it is no trip through a candy land.

Heart is a fickle and complicated thing. And we all know that as well.

There are days and many of them i tell you, that i am all past loneliness..a stage that very few can get to…but everyone seems to know about perfectly, and that is the time when i know that it is okay i guess. Some have it worst.

After all i have an almost broken heart to live for…and by and many other things.

So there is me….and my almost broken heart…i keep it that way. I know if it gets beyond that i’d be in trouble. And i know i don’t like handling trouble.

Among other reasons i know i can’t afford one…fully broken heart right now. I just can’t.

Anddd..well lets just say…that i am much better than that. Much stronger.

So i keep it that way. I know some have it worst.

There is always me and my almost broken heart.

It is one of THOSE days again!

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You can not imagine what i am going through. I feel hopeless most of the day and by night…i weep under my covers.

I try to move but it is much too painful. Every part of my brain hurts. I don’t feel like eating anything and when i do feel like it, i don’t want to. I loath every human being in such a crisis. it is both biological and mental..also if i may add physical too.

yes you guessed it (or i think you did) the days when i have a space in my brain which keeps tormenting me and a hundred things pop up in my mind about WHAT TO WRITE! A millions words, a billion catchy phrases and a quarter million fancy titles. It feels like explosions in my head.

And i as you all know by now am a lazy bum! I simply go on doing what i was doing..thinking that i will put these thoughts to writing some *lifetime* later.

I sometimes do! Mostly i get engulfed by the better of life.

A time comes when i WANT to *read NEED* to write fancy stuff…i have empty words and well *not that i want to accept this fact but a mild case of as i like to put it* writer’s block.

And then..i just sit and stare and curse myself for not being vigilant. But such is life. The paper seems more blank. The pen seems to not run out of ink. And well..the keys of my laptop seem icy cold while the empty white of the screen screams at me..stares at me and sneers!