Back to Bedlam

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Dear Emptiness.

What art thou? What feeling are you–I want to know today! The only reasonable explanation i have is very confusing..Ha. Emptiness. What are you?

The only explanation—you are the feeling that everyone succumbs to one way or another. The feeling of having smoke inside your heart–smoke that just wont dissolve and turn into vapor, like everything else.¬†

So many faces and so many feelings they all hold and hide simultaneously. Emptiness–the feeling of lost sorrow. The feeling of never being alive–not even for a split second. Are you sadness? Happiness?

You are indeed the feeling of getting lost inside the same smoke that perturbs the heart and screens off the mind. The feeling of going on a shaky boat and not even being scared. But does that make you somewhat resemble being brave? Nay.

Brave is facing the open intense sea–you may not survive. You on the other hand are the feeling where one just sits on a shaky boat on a rough sea–not scared, not worried–yet making it out alive at the end–and not even ecstatic.

Emptiness–death before dying. Aloofness before pain. Harm before hurt. Blood before water. Tiredness after the storm has passed. But who cares. One simply puts emptiness aside–apart. And rejoices with the nature. Because see, nature is not empty. It holds secrets, luxuries and many many more things. But then–there is us. We, who are filled to the brim with a thousand and one dreams, hopes, fantasies and emotions. Yet–we are empty.

All of us! Like the stars..up above and faltering and alone and still shining. We look at them and are consumed with awe and fascination. Without knowing the cost and the effort and the force and the gravity behind their being up there. So we–just then suppress it all–shut everything tight inside us.

So tight that it creates a space–a crest–a hole—Emptiness.

We put a smile. And a brave face. We rejoice….with the rest of nature. And forget the empty hole…

But then we come back to life. Ha. Back to bedlam..back at last.

Alas dear heart….we travel back to the drudgery they call life. We all land right back in the empty hole–so we leave the blue sky behind..and fall right back in.

This is you Emptiness… And this is precisely me.

Dolefully Yours

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Fragments.

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Dear Fragments of Such and Such.

It is often unbelievable isn’t it. You are fragments of such and such–and I am a small fragment of life. But then it is bewildering because life itself is a fragment of something bigger.

We are all fragments. All broken away. All scattered. Humans, all of them are pieces of a mirror. A huge mirror–broken and scattered. We all have to find each other. Make a connection. Bond. And become a whole again. But is it possible? You tell me– O Fragments of Such and Such.

For instance, Time is a fragment of a higher order. How solitary that is. It is called *Father Time* yet is is a small part of nature.

So by and by–we all revolve¬† around each other, we are all fragments. We are fragments which revolve around other fragments–hoping to catch attention. Hoping to bond. Hoping. Is hope a fragment too?

Fragments of Such and Such–maybe we have come across somewhere. Who knows. But there will be a day when all of us, fragments and all, will combine together, either for destruction or maybe for construction.

Till then,

Fragmentally Yours

Wistfully Yours

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Dear Vacuum,

No Really I don’t even know who or what I am addressing hence the name Vacuum. It has been a long long time…just really very long since i addressed anything..or any subject like it. But today i am forced. I am forced out of mood to say it all today.

Now dear Vacuum i would not be completely lying to you if i say that i do not know exactly how you feel or what you go through being *Vacuum*. I know it must be hard and not easy for you to be so.

I say this because, well it all is vacuum. Everywhere..it is vacuum. Feelings, life..what not…everything. No i am not being a cynic or an ungrateful half wit. I am simply telling that what i see and feel.

Life is not always robust. Sometimes it gets giddy! At other times it just…goes on. Like this and that. It doesn’t ask for anything not does it tell about anything until the last moment. The very last moment.

There are things and people and places. All so far away. But all so…lustrous that one simply can not resist. At least not all the time. One wants all…but seldom gets all. Or anything for that matter.

But what will you understand…huh after all you are nothing but vacuum. Empty vapors that is!

But yes..there are days i simply can not hold in..and others when all i can do is keep holding it in. I see colors and i see shades. But that is just for my eyes..and through my eyes. I know not what colors the others see…or for that matter what shades, but i see them. I fear that if i touch them…they will turn to vapors…into vacuum, like you.

I see light and i want it. I long for it, i am after all scared of the dark like everyone else. But again..i fear if i get it i will turn it into ugly bleakness.

And if there is a pretty mirror…huh well i have not the strength to collect all the shattered glass.

But what is it..i am not sure. I…

That is all that is left.

Sounds, scents ans senses…all fade or i think they fade before i get acquainted with any of them.

I am not sure if this is it, but i don’t know what else there would be.

Wistfully Yours

Me.

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