Let There Be Silence– Smoke In My Face.

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In the shadows that falter somewhere. Somewhere the ghosts whose cries of solitude and despondency cuts through the air–shrill, sad.

While we become restless–because of the thousand faces we see in the mirror. The million and one voices that we hear when we are alone.

It is all there. We are at a loss maybe.

In each greeting, we hear whispers.

From a vantage point we stand alone–hearing the bleeding world howl.

And from there we hear the birds being happy.

And from there we hear dreams coming true.

And songs and music.

And death and whispers.

Shhh.

Let there be silence.

Let there be dark.

***********

The visible vapor. Is it mist? Where does it come from?

Now it rises.

Now it turns dark.

Now it dissolves in thin air–making it thick.

Now it rises again.

Where does it come from?

Me.

IS it my soul?

Is it?

It comes and it rises–dissolving into air.

It leaves me–there while i stand at the vantage point.

It’ll come back to me–i know.

Is it heading towards salvation?

Being chastised?

There it rises–like mist.

There is smoke in my face–and it is me.

So i keep standing there–at the vantage point…listening to the silence

smoke

 

 

 

 

 

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Microcosm of a Mirage of being Mesmerized.

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What is a mirror image? What is it? We all know the answer. But we don’t.

In this microcosm–we are a part of a mirage–of being spellbound, mesmerized. We don’t quite know it, but only because the illusion engulfs us.

But why are we mesmerized in the first place? Because we choose that over reality. Because we are in fact just scared of the truth. And the truth is–that no matter who is there by your side, how many people, pets and friends or lovers–we are alone.

Alone as the space. Empty as the space.

But where did this mirage come from–why is it there? The reason being the fact that we choose being spellbound over reality–the mirage is nothing more than a smoke screen. if the mirage wasn’t there–we’d know the truth. The truth will snap at us.

Truth. What a horrifying word.

Reality. What an abhorrent word.

but these two go hand in hand.

Truth is that this macrocosm will end one day–ending with it the microcosm we are a part of. But we suppress this fact. We linger in hope for continuity. We ignore it.

But our life is a sham.

It is a prose that no one understands–poetry that everyone rejects. Of course there is music in the background–we move to it. But that music is a mirage too.

How do we cater to all this? How do we take it all in, in one go?

We don’t because we cant because we choose not to.

The happy faces–the mesmerized state is but a mirage. You learn that life is a beautiful tragedy. You lean on people who are nothing but a wisp of smoke.

Love–hate. Smile–tears. Happy–sad. Easy–hard.

These are just states. In a transition. Life–death.

You are enough, yet you fall short of yourself.

But we happily linger because we are confused of everything–but we linger in our microcosm which is a mirage of being mesmerized. Because that is what our instinct tells us to do.

We never find out about this microcosm of a mirage of being mesmerized. We don’t dig the layers because it will reveal to us the truth.

Truth. What a pitiable illusion about reality.

Reality. What a curse.

The Teen Years–What You Learn

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Ahh so i just turned 20 today. You ask how do you feel milady? Well i just waved goodbye to the teen years–how do you think i feel. I feel great. GREAT. The teen years were not my medicine–or piece of cake

But this post is not about me. It is indeed a heads up for all of you–to relate, to look out for and many other things that start with a *to–*.

The day you turn thirteen-ahh you think it is going to like magic, that you’d just wake up and start singing to birds like freaking Cinderella. NO that does not happen.

Instead, it is an ordinary day. You feel the same. You look the same. Mind, you may look uglier. And thus the pathetic journey begins. You are confused–there is peer pressure

Your parents treat you as a child and at the same time expect great things from you. I mean HELLOO if i am but an asinine toddler how will i ever change the worldd??

You suddenly start feeling awkward around other people–ESPECIALLY the opposite sex. :3

But they don’t notice you until you are 15 or 16. Because you are an ugly blob till then. So hold your horses. And then you get to encounter all sorts of people. The bitchy two faced ones. The bloody ass holes. The miss-oh-i-am-so-per-fec-t. The noobs, geeks, hobos, punks, emos, goths. And yada yada.

And you realize that you really don’t fit in with any of them. So at first–you think that you are a misfit, than you begin thinking that *NO I ..I Am infact UNIQUE*

It happens so–that there will be many ‘oh-i-am-uniques’ out there. So that turns kind of ironic.

Then you turn 16. That is when you realize who your friends are and why. They are usually like you. A bunch of unique ****s bonding together over a see-saw.

Of course as you go deep in the teen years–you get your heart broken. And face too. You may want to go out with your friends, but the folks said nope…they don’t trust you. And don’t expect them to. After all you are just a crazy ass on the way to making so many damn mistakes.

17 is the most weird age. You want many things–but you cant have it all. So that is the first time you truly realize what disappointment tastes like. BITTER.

Say, you want to date–but you’re too ugly. You want to wear them tight ass jeans–but that ain’t so cool with them folks. You want the latest gadget–so make your own damn money.

Ahh teenage–they think life is easy.

18: you finally become legal. You want to do crazy as hell stuff. Most of the time–you even do it. But most of the other time–you just end up being a loser with only words and no action. You thought you’d own the world by now. But the only thing you get owned is your pitiable ass.

Then comes the final episode. This age is special and not special at the same time. If you are a desi–you get to worry that your folks are going to get you married. They make you learn how to cook. Otherwise you just waste time and money over nothing. Only to learn that you will end up getting disappointed. AGAIN. Then it ends.

It is really like a butterfly. First there is the cocoon phase. Then the butterfly phase. And finally the ugly moth phase.

You learn a lot of things. You learn that the world is not a candy filled castle. You learn about people. Different kinds of them. You end up hating most of them. You learn that life is the damn reality. And there is no escaping it. You learn about getting disappointed. Rejected. And you learn about the 50 shades of confusion and total retardness. But most of all–you learn how to cope it all. You learn about the drama in life and the perfect way to sort it out–although you never did sort it out.keep-calm-because-it-s-my-20th-birthday-4